The first family photo!

Welcome Germain #10!

Adara Josephine arrived on September 29th! All children are completely in love with their new sister... in fact it's a good thing she needs me for her nutritional needs or I might not get to hold her! She's a super easy going baby thus far, even handling her first cold without too much fussiness! She comes to work with me and even has her own bed in the midwives office. All the staff thinks she sleeps too much cause they never get to hold her! I haven't yet gone to a birth since she arrived, but Tonia is anxious for me to... cause she gets to come and babysit. :) Anyway, all is well here... we are recovering from colds and some sort of flu bug, but hopefully it's passed completely now...

And for my midwife friends... here's the quickie version of the birth story.

I started contractions that were more serious around 3 am on the 29th... I hadn't slept pretty much at all that night, so I wasn't really 'in the mood' to be laboring! lol... By 5am I was tired and I sat on the toilet and told God I was just too tired to deal with being in labor and could I please sleep! Amazingly contractions stopped and I was able to get about an hour and a half of sleep before I needed to get up for work. I headed to work with contractions coming intermittently throughout the morning. By lunch my boss insisted on a prenatal that day (and when she insists...) I was 4 centimeters at that point. By 5pm I was definitely tensing up to try to hold the contractions at bay... thus making my back feel horrible. I headed home to try to nap before things kicked into high gear. But having a houseful of kiddos and all the hubbub around dinner and getting them ready for bed wasn't quite condusive to sleeping! By then the contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes, but not really that painful. My boss (and my midwife) had decided that the baby was going to make her appearance that night and so she didn't head home, instead she went grocery shopping for us and supplied us with a bunch of dinner stuff for after the baby was born.

We finally headed into the clinic around 9ish... I got into the tub, but my contractions pretty much stopped, so I got into the rocking chair for awhile. Around 9:40 I was laying down and things finally started to hurt a lot more so I got in the tub again. My back was hurting a lot, but there wasn't that cervical pressure (meaning the baby was still high). I figured by this point I was at least 6cm and we could do AROM (break my water) to speed things along. However when I was checked at 10pm... I was still only 4 cm... (I pretty sure I thought not nice words at this point, but just said 'lovely' and turned my back to everyone)... My midwife suggested I get in the shower and hold my belly up as I had a contractions... that along with some lunges immediately brought her down... and I had the "I need to poop" feeling! I sat on the toilet and told Joe to go away cause I couldn't 'go' with him in the room... With one push I realized something was coming out... I reached down and felt the bag of waters coming out... Joe quickly went and got my boss and the apprentice. I remember her saying "oh.... so we're going to do a toilet birth are we"... and I knew she really didn't want to (cause no midwife really likes the bathroom births... messy!) When on the next push the water didn't break she asked if I would like to move to the bed... (heck NO!)... but I moved... On the next contraction the apprentice did AROM and I really really wanted off my back, but I couldn't get two sentences together so I figured the only way to end the back pain was to get the baby out! By two more pushes out came the head... I waited for the body... but nothing! Seriously, I haven't pushed any of my baby's body's out... they always just slid out! So I pushed again and out she came! (Joe caught her)..They held her up for me to see the sex, but I couldn't see! All I heard was my boss say... "guess I was wrong"... and I knew she was a girl! (She was positive we were having a boy). We had decided beforehand to use 'active management' w/ a shot of pitocin since I had had a couple hemorrhages in the past. I will just mention that pit shots suck, but they work... out popped the placenta on the next contraction and very minimal bleeding... no tear and we were settled in for the night within a couple hours. So... from when I was checked at 10pm till baby out... 48 minutes! They told me the next morning I was actually only 7 when the apprentice did AROM... 81/2 w/ the next push and then baby out with the next... my boss said it's a good thing that my body cooperates since I'm not patient! hmmm... (I could argue that she never TOLD me I wasn't complete, but... whatever!)

So... anyway... our biggest baby yet arrived safe and sound! The kiddos came the next morning and met her before we headed home as a family.

So that's it!

ok... OK!

When God spoke the word to Joe and I at the start of 2010 that this would be a year of new beginnings... we had NO idea how right that was going to be!!
Some have asked why I stopped blogging... life was just too confusing, too much depth to the emotions and changes that we ourselves are just finally feeling like we're getting back on 'top' of it all...
I have to say that when we came back there were some tough questions in our minds... sometimes even feeling like God had abandoned us, feeling as though missions in general was a big crock, etc... yep, pretty strong emotions and not ones we wanted to work through on a public forum! We still struggle with our adjustment to this 'new' life we have... but God has been ever faithful to put people and situations in our lives to give enough encouragement just when we needed it. Living in Wasilla has been a change for us 'small town' folks, so figuring out connecting w/ others when we already feel like we have barely enough energy to make it through the day... well, it's been a bit tough! But we are encouraged by our churchs' Fresh Start program and are slowly getting to know a few people here and there. The kids thankfully have made friends here and there through their various activities. I had to laugh today to have Tyler (who is 7) get his friends number after gym class. Then later he took the initiative and called and chatted w/ him for a good 15 minutes!
In other news I finally got my Alaska midwifery license! (Just in time to take maternity leave!) lol... jk. I am still working and plan to right up until I deliver.... though my boss at this point only calls me to the 'easy' births...
Speaking of births... we have just entered the 'I'm so ready to be done w/ this' stage... though technically I could still go another couple weeks (God forbid!). Joe says he thinks the baby will come on Friday.... if he's wrong... hmmmm...
Our homeschooling is in full swing, though I have yet to add our science curriculum... guess I better hurry since the first unit is on leaves and stuff outside... and pretty soon the snow will fly to cover those leaves! We are already down to freezing at night and not even reaching 60 in the day... .brrrr!
We know the inevitable is coming... winter... but I am just NOT ready for the blowing cold winds... good thing I'll have a snuggly little excuse to stay inside! :) Too bad kids will still need run to their various activities! And then there is those middle of the night calls for births... I told Joe what I really wanted for Christmas was remote start on my car!!! That way my car can be warming up while I get in my scrubs!
Well, it's that dinner hour... and though I'm not cooking, I do need to go taste test!!!
Jenn
p.s. For those who have asked me for preggo pics... sorry, I HATE my pic taken when I'm like this... so... there is only one... and it's located at www.matsumidwifery.com Enjoy! lol

Update

Well, it's been awhile! (Again!) Alaskan summer is upon us (course its currently raining... hmmm), but we are in full swing of activities! Joziah is currently off at an 8 day boy scout camp... his first time really away from home! Yikes! Tonia is enjoying her new horse (I can't remember if I mentioned we got an amazing deal on a horse for her)... Joe has been busy clearing the back property in order to fence in for the horse (it is currently boarded too far of a drive away!)... I am working up a storm, or so it seems. We have been slightly short staffed at work and so we pretty much alternate every other birth going to... sadly we have had a more than usual transport rate lately... :( Our stats last year were only 12 transports in 187 births! Not so for this month!
Anyway, besides that depressing part, I love my job...the ladies I work with are amazing and the care given to women during their pregnancies is something I love!
It's definitely been an adjustment for the kiddos with both mom and dad working... sometimes we alternate, but sometimes both of us are gone... this is a new thing for them and some struggle more than others. We have been blessed that Joe's sister has come to live with us before she heads off to college, so it's been a big help to just have someone help keep the system rolling. She found out I love mexican food so she makes that once a week which is yummy!!! (and a great blessing to find dinner prepared when I come home from work!)
The littlest Germain is still growing steady... after having some low platelet issues in early pregnancy, my boss kicked my butt into eating healthier and taking supplements... so now my platelets are well within normal range! (this significantly decreases my risk of bleeding at the birth)... so... 3 more months! I'm sure it's going to fly by!
I know there is lots more to tell, but that's it for now... and I can't seem to get pictures to go from my camera to my blog, only facebook... so, until I get my camera back, you'll have to deal with no pictures (or find them on my fb)!
:) Jenn

Hey! What happened to MAY?

Wow... life in America is SO fast paced! May has flown by and I'm not sure what happened, but I know June is fast approaching! Since May sped by... I will just speed through some highlights of the month.
-Joe worked down in S. Anchorage for a week... it was a good job, but nice to have him home!
-His business seems to be taking off pretty well... busy is good, right?
-I got a job at a local birth center and have begun my training there. We're doing a trial run for the summer and then if it's a good fit then I'll join the staff full time.
-I have been continuing to LOooonG paper trail to get my AK midwifery license.... blah is how I feel about it at this moment... seems just when I think I'm close....
-Kids 'summer' activities are in full swing. Tonia continues w/ her horse riding lessons (meaning mom runs her to and from the barn frequently)... Joziah is loving boy scouts and I am sure when I pick him up from his first camp out today he will have many adventures to tell me. This campout was just an overnight, but he is scheduled for an 8 day outing this summer... it'll be his first time camping w/o family/friends!
-We took a week break this past week from school, and I'm sure it will take me this week to switch over into our new curriculum, but hoping to start back to school in a week or two... (I'm sure the kids are thrilled... lol)
-Joe left today for another week... this one isn't paid though (DARN)... but his little sis is graduating from high school and he is bringing her back w/ him to live w/ us for awhile. It'll be a HUGE help to have a live in sitter! Relieves a bit of pressure from Joe and I to be sure!
-The baby continues to grow... though I get told I am tiny for my gestational age... (bless those people!)... but working around midwives constantly... they don't cut me any slack w/ eating/drinking healthy!! I've had to resort to sneaking my peanut m&m's at night! :)

Well that's the update for now... I actually have a camera on my phone... I just have to figure out how to load them to here!

Ah the joys of being pregnant!

I was having one of those moments tonight where I was reflecting on how good God is... and how he meets each NEED we have just at the right moment... and I felt happy... happy enough that I almost cried! lol... I used to say that God planned so many children for me because the only time I cried was when I was pregnant! lol... maybe so...
Updates on our ever chaotic life...
Joe is getting his business off the ground... making 'just' enough to pay the necessary bills at the moment... but at least our needs are being met!
I made some really good contacts for midwifery... so hopefully will get back in that scene sometime soon...
I am waiting ONE document to be able to finish up my midwifery licensure for Texas... praying it comes before my CPR expires and I have to take another class!!!
Kids are loving all their extra curricular activites... I'm realizing why American moms are so exhausted!!!... (running children to their various activities!)
On a random side note... my 5 yr old just made our 14 wk old (and 50+ lb) Mastiff puppy lay down on command! lol...
And then our 7 yr old teased her w/ his stuffed bear... yeah... that'll be toast by tomorrow! (I TOLD them NOT to tease the dog w/ their stuffed animals! ;P)
I am listening to my children ready themselves for bed at the moment... and I love how each child knows what the OTHER child is supposed to be doing, yet amazingly forgets what THEIR task is! hmmm... guess I should go dictate!

How great is our God?

We have been doing a study at church on being fearless..... of course we all have fears we know about... but really this is about all the fears that lie in the undercurrent, the ones that maybe we don't really acknowledge, never the less they control many aspects of our lives.
Most people who know Joe and I would describe us as pretty fearless... bugs, snakes, living in the jungle... that's all good with us. However... fear has gained control in many areas of my life over the past several years, and it's been an interesting process of revelation and healing.
Awhile back, right after adopting our two kids... slowly a fear crept into my life without me even realizing it... it was a fear of what others think of me. Of course we all have a little bit of that fear in our lives, but this one started becoming bigger and bigger, even being a driving force in my life.... like a tapeworm it was sucking all the nutrition from me (ok, you get the picture)... While this fear grew bigger, so did other fears... (ever notice how that happens?) Once while in counseling in High School, my counselor pointed out to me that I had a perfectionist mentality... I of course had to disagree as I am one of the most disorganized people I know! But it wasn't in the normal way...it was more that I expected absolute perfection of myself in relationships, in meeting other peoples expectations. Of course we can't always meet others expectations, because people are people... and they WILL fail us. However knowing this mentally doesn't always solve the inward driving force inside.
So needless to say, between caring way to much what other people think and striving to meet other peoples expectation... Stress began taking over.... Then to not be able to meet leaders expectations, relationships seeming to fail and being flat out told you are a failure... it kinda shook my world. I came back feeling confused, abandoned, rejected, etc... Where was God in all this mess anyway?! Shame became a seemingly constant companion... shame when I used my food stamps card, shame to ask my sister for help to pay the bills until we got on our feet, even shame that I drive a piece of junk car instead of the nice ones we used to). I was even angry at God... angry that we had given up everything to serve Him, and feeling that we got gyped in return...
Then several weeks ago at church the speaker was admitting his own struggles in the past w/ dibilitating fears... and as each week has gone on and we have delved deeper and deeper into overcoming our fears, I have realized these fears that had taken over my life. And with the realization of the fears, has also come the realization of all the far reaching effects of these fears. I no longer am as open and trusting with new people, I no longer think of the good in people first, I tend to be more stern with my kids and less likely to just have fun... most of all the joy that I've always tended to have for life (my passion and zeal) seemed to have just been sucked right out of me.
Lately I've been thinking and studying... just how great is God anyway? And realizing that He is only limited in my own mind of putting him in a 'box'... of thinking that I have to somehow 'perform' to get his blessings... when in reality, I am only 'performing' for man, which of course brings no satisfaction, only more guilt and shame when we cannot meet everyones expectations all the time. Wouldn't it be awesome to just be free of worrying about man's expectations , to get rid of that as the motivating factor in our lives and only be driven by our love and passion for Christ and EVERYTHING that HE is!?
Phew! It's a lot to think about... peoples lives could be radically changed by this revelation... don't you think? I know mine is....
Sorry if this has confused you, sometimes I still feel confused... but I still stand on the faith that God WILL be faithful and we will see the otherside!
Be Blessed!