Two fold

A couple days ago when I was at clinic I overheard Heather discussing a case from downstairs in the birthroom.... mom downstairs was pregnant w/ twins... both were head down... already 8 cm... After shift I stuck around to help out and mostly just to get to watch the drama unfold... Sure enough there was lots of drama... Our on call doc was willing to deliver the twins and came in for the delivery... now anybody who knows anything knows that midwives and doctors deliver babies quite a bit differently... so now our lovely little birth room turned into a make shift hospital... I won't go into details, but lets just say that with 12 midwives (yes 12!) and 1 doctor spread out over 3 cubicles... it was quite the gong show... But Hannah Faith (baby A) and Kyra Hope (baby b) made it safetly into this world. Baby A had a little trouble at the get go but was a better breastfeeder than her sister. The next day a doctor came and cleared the babies to go home... by the next day baby b was no longer eating (even though they were dropper feeding her) and when she arrived at the clinic she literally looked like death... we transported and off they went... turned away by the first hospital (the specialist was out of town), welcomed at the second hospital... but the ventilator unit at a private hospital is 2-300 dollars a day... way more than this family could afford... so off they went to the government hospital... she clung vicariously to life for a few more hours until that evening when she made her way into the arms of Jesus... it really rocks your world when we lose a life... but this was actually the 3rd baby from Mercy this week! (not related to eachother in any way).... We (the midwife students) are all tired... we are all pushing through to finish up this semester... for those of us graduating we have so much on our plates our heads are spinning round and round... We just want to cry out "JESUS.... help!"... there is always the temptation when a tradjedy happens to want to cast blame... 'well if so and so hadn't done this or had done this'... of course this is just the enemy wanting to cause division and more pain (after all that's what he's about right?) I know that I am down and depressed and wishing that life would just stop for a minute... death is never easy on anyone... especially when you have faced death before... but I am trying to look to my Lord for comfort and for refreshment... and of course hold my little ones close and thank God for my special blessings in my life...