The first family photo!

Welcome Germain #10!

Adara Josephine arrived on September 29th! All children are completely in love with their new sister... in fact it's a good thing she needs me for her nutritional needs or I might not get to hold her! She's a super easy going baby thus far, even handling her first cold without too much fussiness! She comes to work with me and even has her own bed in the midwives office. All the staff thinks she sleeps too much cause they never get to hold her! I haven't yet gone to a birth since she arrived, but Tonia is anxious for me to... cause she gets to come and babysit. :) Anyway, all is well here... we are recovering from colds and some sort of flu bug, but hopefully it's passed completely now...

And for my midwife friends... here's the quickie version of the birth story.

I started contractions that were more serious around 3 am on the 29th... I hadn't slept pretty much at all that night, so I wasn't really 'in the mood' to be laboring! lol... By 5am I was tired and I sat on the toilet and told God I was just too tired to deal with being in labor and could I please sleep! Amazingly contractions stopped and I was able to get about an hour and a half of sleep before I needed to get up for work. I headed to work with contractions coming intermittently throughout the morning. By lunch my boss insisted on a prenatal that day (and when she insists...) I was 4 centimeters at that point. By 5pm I was definitely tensing up to try to hold the contractions at bay... thus making my back feel horrible. I headed home to try to nap before things kicked into high gear. But having a houseful of kiddos and all the hubbub around dinner and getting them ready for bed wasn't quite condusive to sleeping! By then the contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes, but not really that painful. My boss (and my midwife) had decided that the baby was going to make her appearance that night and so she didn't head home, instead she went grocery shopping for us and supplied us with a bunch of dinner stuff for after the baby was born.

We finally headed into the clinic around 9ish... I got into the tub, but my contractions pretty much stopped, so I got into the rocking chair for awhile. Around 9:40 I was laying down and things finally started to hurt a lot more so I got in the tub again. My back was hurting a lot, but there wasn't that cervical pressure (meaning the baby was still high). I figured by this point I was at least 6cm and we could do AROM (break my water) to speed things along. However when I was checked at 10pm... I was still only 4 cm... (I pretty sure I thought not nice words at this point, but just said 'lovely' and turned my back to everyone)... My midwife suggested I get in the shower and hold my belly up as I had a contractions... that along with some lunges immediately brought her down... and I had the "I need to poop" feeling! I sat on the toilet and told Joe to go away cause I couldn't 'go' with him in the room... With one push I realized something was coming out... I reached down and felt the bag of waters coming out... Joe quickly went and got my boss and the apprentice. I remember her saying "oh.... so we're going to do a toilet birth are we"... and I knew she really didn't want to (cause no midwife really likes the bathroom births... messy!) When on the next push the water didn't break she asked if I would like to move to the bed... (heck NO!)... but I moved... On the next contraction the apprentice did AROM and I really really wanted off my back, but I couldn't get two sentences together so I figured the only way to end the back pain was to get the baby out! By two more pushes out came the head... I waited for the body... but nothing! Seriously, I haven't pushed any of my baby's body's out... they always just slid out! So I pushed again and out she came! (Joe caught her)..They held her up for me to see the sex, but I couldn't see! All I heard was my boss say... "guess I was wrong"... and I knew she was a girl! (She was positive we were having a boy). We had decided beforehand to use 'active management' w/ a shot of pitocin since I had had a couple hemorrhages in the past. I will just mention that pit shots suck, but they work... out popped the placenta on the next contraction and very minimal bleeding... no tear and we were settled in for the night within a couple hours. So... from when I was checked at 10pm till baby out... 48 minutes! They told me the next morning I was actually only 7 when the apprentice did AROM... 81/2 w/ the next push and then baby out with the next... my boss said it's a good thing that my body cooperates since I'm not patient! hmmm... (I could argue that she never TOLD me I wasn't complete, but... whatever!)

So... anyway... our biggest baby yet arrived safe and sound! The kiddos came the next morning and met her before we headed home as a family.

So that's it!

ok... OK!

When God spoke the word to Joe and I at the start of 2010 that this would be a year of new beginnings... we had NO idea how right that was going to be!!
Some have asked why I stopped blogging... life was just too confusing, too much depth to the emotions and changes that we ourselves are just finally feeling like we're getting back on 'top' of it all...
I have to say that when we came back there were some tough questions in our minds... sometimes even feeling like God had abandoned us, feeling as though missions in general was a big crock, etc... yep, pretty strong emotions and not ones we wanted to work through on a public forum! We still struggle with our adjustment to this 'new' life we have... but God has been ever faithful to put people and situations in our lives to give enough encouragement just when we needed it. Living in Wasilla has been a change for us 'small town' folks, so figuring out connecting w/ others when we already feel like we have barely enough energy to make it through the day... well, it's been a bit tough! But we are encouraged by our churchs' Fresh Start program and are slowly getting to know a few people here and there. The kids thankfully have made friends here and there through their various activities. I had to laugh today to have Tyler (who is 7) get his friends number after gym class. Then later he took the initiative and called and chatted w/ him for a good 15 minutes!
In other news I finally got my Alaska midwifery license! (Just in time to take maternity leave!) lol... jk. I am still working and plan to right up until I deliver.... though my boss at this point only calls me to the 'easy' births...
Speaking of births... we have just entered the 'I'm so ready to be done w/ this' stage... though technically I could still go another couple weeks (God forbid!). Joe says he thinks the baby will come on Friday.... if he's wrong... hmmmm...
Our homeschooling is in full swing, though I have yet to add our science curriculum... guess I better hurry since the first unit is on leaves and stuff outside... and pretty soon the snow will fly to cover those leaves! We are already down to freezing at night and not even reaching 60 in the day... .brrrr!
We know the inevitable is coming... winter... but I am just NOT ready for the blowing cold winds... good thing I'll have a snuggly little excuse to stay inside! :) Too bad kids will still need run to their various activities! And then there is those middle of the night calls for births... I told Joe what I really wanted for Christmas was remote start on my car!!! That way my car can be warming up while I get in my scrubs!
Well, it's that dinner hour... and though I'm not cooking, I do need to go taste test!!!
Jenn
p.s. For those who have asked me for preggo pics... sorry, I HATE my pic taken when I'm like this... so... there is only one... and it's located at www.matsumidwifery.com Enjoy! lol

Update

Well, it's been awhile! (Again!) Alaskan summer is upon us (course its currently raining... hmmm), but we are in full swing of activities! Joziah is currently off at an 8 day boy scout camp... his first time really away from home! Yikes! Tonia is enjoying her new horse (I can't remember if I mentioned we got an amazing deal on a horse for her)... Joe has been busy clearing the back property in order to fence in for the horse (it is currently boarded too far of a drive away!)... I am working up a storm, or so it seems. We have been slightly short staffed at work and so we pretty much alternate every other birth going to... sadly we have had a more than usual transport rate lately... :( Our stats last year were only 12 transports in 187 births! Not so for this month!
Anyway, besides that depressing part, I love my job...the ladies I work with are amazing and the care given to women during their pregnancies is something I love!
It's definitely been an adjustment for the kiddos with both mom and dad working... sometimes we alternate, but sometimes both of us are gone... this is a new thing for them and some struggle more than others. We have been blessed that Joe's sister has come to live with us before she heads off to college, so it's been a big help to just have someone help keep the system rolling. She found out I love mexican food so she makes that once a week which is yummy!!! (and a great blessing to find dinner prepared when I come home from work!)
The littlest Germain is still growing steady... after having some low platelet issues in early pregnancy, my boss kicked my butt into eating healthier and taking supplements... so now my platelets are well within normal range! (this significantly decreases my risk of bleeding at the birth)... so... 3 more months! I'm sure it's going to fly by!
I know there is lots more to tell, but that's it for now... and I can't seem to get pictures to go from my camera to my blog, only facebook... so, until I get my camera back, you'll have to deal with no pictures (or find them on my fb)!
:) Jenn

Hey! What happened to MAY?

Wow... life in America is SO fast paced! May has flown by and I'm not sure what happened, but I know June is fast approaching! Since May sped by... I will just speed through some highlights of the month.
-Joe worked down in S. Anchorage for a week... it was a good job, but nice to have him home!
-His business seems to be taking off pretty well... busy is good, right?
-I got a job at a local birth center and have begun my training there. We're doing a trial run for the summer and then if it's a good fit then I'll join the staff full time.
-I have been continuing to LOooonG paper trail to get my AK midwifery license.... blah is how I feel about it at this moment... seems just when I think I'm close....
-Kids 'summer' activities are in full swing. Tonia continues w/ her horse riding lessons (meaning mom runs her to and from the barn frequently)... Joziah is loving boy scouts and I am sure when I pick him up from his first camp out today he will have many adventures to tell me. This campout was just an overnight, but he is scheduled for an 8 day outing this summer... it'll be his first time camping w/o family/friends!
-We took a week break this past week from school, and I'm sure it will take me this week to switch over into our new curriculum, but hoping to start back to school in a week or two... (I'm sure the kids are thrilled... lol)
-Joe left today for another week... this one isn't paid though (DARN)... but his little sis is graduating from high school and he is bringing her back w/ him to live w/ us for awhile. It'll be a HUGE help to have a live in sitter! Relieves a bit of pressure from Joe and I to be sure!
-The baby continues to grow... though I get told I am tiny for my gestational age... (bless those people!)... but working around midwives constantly... they don't cut me any slack w/ eating/drinking healthy!! I've had to resort to sneaking my peanut m&m's at night! :)

Well that's the update for now... I actually have a camera on my phone... I just have to figure out how to load them to here!

Ah the joys of being pregnant!

I was having one of those moments tonight where I was reflecting on how good God is... and how he meets each NEED we have just at the right moment... and I felt happy... happy enough that I almost cried! lol... I used to say that God planned so many children for me because the only time I cried was when I was pregnant! lol... maybe so...
Updates on our ever chaotic life...
Joe is getting his business off the ground... making 'just' enough to pay the necessary bills at the moment... but at least our needs are being met!
I made some really good contacts for midwifery... so hopefully will get back in that scene sometime soon...
I am waiting ONE document to be able to finish up my midwifery licensure for Texas... praying it comes before my CPR expires and I have to take another class!!!
Kids are loving all their extra curricular activites... I'm realizing why American moms are so exhausted!!!... (running children to their various activities!)
On a random side note... my 5 yr old just made our 14 wk old (and 50+ lb) Mastiff puppy lay down on command! lol...
And then our 7 yr old teased her w/ his stuffed bear... yeah... that'll be toast by tomorrow! (I TOLD them NOT to tease the dog w/ their stuffed animals! ;P)
I am listening to my children ready themselves for bed at the moment... and I love how each child knows what the OTHER child is supposed to be doing, yet amazingly forgets what THEIR task is! hmmm... guess I should go dictate!

How great is our God?

We have been doing a study at church on being fearless..... of course we all have fears we know about... but really this is about all the fears that lie in the undercurrent, the ones that maybe we don't really acknowledge, never the less they control many aspects of our lives.
Most people who know Joe and I would describe us as pretty fearless... bugs, snakes, living in the jungle... that's all good with us. However... fear has gained control in many areas of my life over the past several years, and it's been an interesting process of revelation and healing.
Awhile back, right after adopting our two kids... slowly a fear crept into my life without me even realizing it... it was a fear of what others think of me. Of course we all have a little bit of that fear in our lives, but this one started becoming bigger and bigger, even being a driving force in my life.... like a tapeworm it was sucking all the nutrition from me (ok, you get the picture)... While this fear grew bigger, so did other fears... (ever notice how that happens?) Once while in counseling in High School, my counselor pointed out to me that I had a perfectionist mentality... I of course had to disagree as I am one of the most disorganized people I know! But it wasn't in the normal way...it was more that I expected absolute perfection of myself in relationships, in meeting other peoples expectations. Of course we can't always meet others expectations, because people are people... and they WILL fail us. However knowing this mentally doesn't always solve the inward driving force inside.
So needless to say, between caring way to much what other people think and striving to meet other peoples expectation... Stress began taking over.... Then to not be able to meet leaders expectations, relationships seeming to fail and being flat out told you are a failure... it kinda shook my world. I came back feeling confused, abandoned, rejected, etc... Where was God in all this mess anyway?! Shame became a seemingly constant companion... shame when I used my food stamps card, shame to ask my sister for help to pay the bills until we got on our feet, even shame that I drive a piece of junk car instead of the nice ones we used to). I was even angry at God... angry that we had given up everything to serve Him, and feeling that we got gyped in return...
Then several weeks ago at church the speaker was admitting his own struggles in the past w/ dibilitating fears... and as each week has gone on and we have delved deeper and deeper into overcoming our fears, I have realized these fears that had taken over my life. And with the realization of the fears, has also come the realization of all the far reaching effects of these fears. I no longer am as open and trusting with new people, I no longer think of the good in people first, I tend to be more stern with my kids and less likely to just have fun... most of all the joy that I've always tended to have for life (my passion and zeal) seemed to have just been sucked right out of me.
Lately I've been thinking and studying... just how great is God anyway? And realizing that He is only limited in my own mind of putting him in a 'box'... of thinking that I have to somehow 'perform' to get his blessings... when in reality, I am only 'performing' for man, which of course brings no satisfaction, only more guilt and shame when we cannot meet everyones expectations all the time. Wouldn't it be awesome to just be free of worrying about man's expectations , to get rid of that as the motivating factor in our lives and only be driven by our love and passion for Christ and EVERYTHING that HE is!?
Phew! It's a lot to think about... peoples lives could be radically changed by this revelation... don't you think? I know mine is....
Sorry if this has confused you, sometimes I still feel confused... but I still stand on the faith that God WILL be faithful and we will see the otherside!
Be Blessed!

PHEW!

As I write this my daughter has just informed me that the third of our little baby bunnies has made it's way out of the nest at night and froze to death.... this tops the wonderful week we've had of kids w/ the flu/diarrhea bug. Our downstairs renters have 7 children and last week they all had this flu/diarrhea bug (which in turn means a LOT of extra laundry...as we share a washer/dryer). We were hoping we would avoid it, but the other day the youngest woke up throwing up, then the next night two more children were puking and pooping... then last night another was added along w/ daddy (who still had to go to work)... currently we have just 3 functionalble help (me, Tonia, and Sam)... and Meggie isn't sick, but is liking to pretend she is sick! So we are entertaining ourselves w/ old home videos of Grandma and Grandpa that are up in heaven w/ Jesus as well as home videos of kiddos when they were little (a great hit!)

On other news... life has been busy w/ getting the paperwork trails started both for me to be licensed in midwifery in the state of Alaska (a very looongg story) and for Joe to start his own business. We realized that if I was going to be able to practice midwifery at all, Joe definitely couldn't be in the cop/security business.... so he started his own handyman business and it seems to be taking off already. We've got rabbits going, both meat and the kids business of small rabbits to sell.... it's a learning experience to deal with cold weather instead of hot weather!

Tonia has been keeping busy w/ her horse riding lessons.... she came to me a few weeks before her birthday and informed me that she wanted a horse, saddle, riding blanket, etc... for her birthday (I informed her to keep dreaming!) She is like most girls her age and obsessed w/ everything horses (dogs come in a close second).

Joziah has joined boy scouts.... and is loving all the fun projects and cool things he learns there. This week (as long as he is feeling better), the troop will be heading to help out at the Air Force base and be victims for the paramedic training. He's hoping they get to have fake blood and everything!

Bri has informed me that he really really wants to be a soldier when he grows up! Somehow we mentioned jr ROTC programs and CAP... he insisted that we look it up and find out how old he has to be... we of course have pointed out that he needs to study hard if he would like to be in those programs (gotta get our digs in when we can!)

Well this seems like a long enough update for now! Please continue to pray for us as we are still adjusting to life back in America!

Just can't stay away!

LOL.... how could I ever think of giving up blogging? Who would I vent to then?!
Yesterday was one of 'THOSE' days... the kind where you wake up wondering if the day is really going to go as bad as you feel... and you go to bed realizing that it went way worse! Seriously I was ready to give up on being a wife, parent, human being... I woke w/ a pounding headache, decided to push through and help get breakfast on for our large crew of hungry kiddos (we were staying at friends house in Homer who have 6 kids, along w/ our 7 that makes 13 kiddos to feed each meal... amazingly it goes well)... Anyway, before breakfast was served I headed about 20 min away to what I thought was a meeting w/ my kids school advisor. Apparently there had been a misunderstanding and she thought I was just dropping reimbursement receipts... so an hour wasted, I headed home. I would have to say at this point my mood was that I wished I could just take that little car and drive, drive, drive.... as if somehow the freedom of the road would make my mind less confused. But of course I love my family and decided they would probably NOT appreciate mommy having some sanity time, so I went back to face the packing and loading ordeal... A couple hours later everyone had pottied, all random stray items had (hopefully) been thrown in the bus and we were off for the drive back to Wasilla. I went to put a movie in the tv/vcr only to discover that it was no longer functioning (Joe thought maybe it was just cold... I have no idea if a cold tv would randomly make it eat video tapes, but whatever)... so of course trying to explain to the younger kids why the tv wouldn't work went over super well... After a stop for lunch in Soldotna and a potty stop in Girdwood... we made it to the other side of Anchorage and were in the final stretch for home.... when my phone rings... It was our downstairs renters, who had been watching our 2 mastiff puppies for us... she hated to tell us, but they had put the dogs upstairs and they had somehow gotten out while she was gone... awaiting us at home was not a pretty site!
2-30 pound puppies loose in a house for hours... one had diarrhea BAD... they have big paws... we have light tan colored couches and carpet everywhere in our house.... The only up side of the story was the kids' bedroom doors were shut! So we went right to work... first picking up the big pieces of chewed this and that... the larger piles of poo, soaking up pee spots... then we brought out or handy dandy carpet steam cleaner.... the hand tool being the only part that was working, but at least we got the major spots cleaned up... Then Joe tore apart the main part and got it working... only to have it break, then fixed, then break... you get the idea... We did manage to get it ALL clean and smelling MUCH better.
We fed kids spaghetti (thank God for quick meals)... put them in bed and after a bit more cleaning sat down to catch our breath. Our two 'innocent' pups were cuddled up w/ me on the couch when suddenly the one who had had the diarrhea stood up and puked... A LOT... all over the top of her sister and the couch.... NICE!! More clean up followed... it continued till late when finally the immodium started to take effect and poor puppy was able to sleep... (meaning mommy n daddy can hopefully sleep!)
This morning I think our kids were realizing what little tirdlets they had been yesterday (we gave them a big lecture on demanding this and that instead of helping out)... Bri woke up and immediately starting putting away dishes (without being asked!)... Sam started washing down counters.... WOW! I had to laugh when their older brother came in and told them "HEY! That's not YOUR chore!"... they told him they were just helping out... he said... "Oh... well it's still not YOUR chore!"... haha... firstborns!
So there we go... today is going much better... the outlook for today is that we WILL survive...

To blog or not to blog...

I've seriously been considering giving up my blogging days... not that I didn't thouroughly enjoy it, in fact I've loved it! I've been reading over the past year or so and just in awe of all God has brought us through. However now we live back in North America... what is there to blog about? I mean life is the normal 'American' life! We live in a big house, we drive a big car (ok a shuttle bus to be exact), we have our 2 dogs (who happen to be Mastiff's), we have our 7.3 children (ok, so maybe that's more normal for Alaskan and not American)... anyway... on the outside we look like it's all nice and pretty... and on the inside a jumble of mixed up emotions that volley from extreme anger to sadness and happiness multiple times a day... see... the normal 'American'!
And I have to say, since blogger doesn't actually tell me if people visit my blog, I have to assume they don't anymore since there are no comments anymore.
So, we'll see... it may be just a random extreme emotion to want to stop blogging, amplified by the ever increasing pregnancy hormones... lol.. who knows.
Well, seems I must cut this blog short, I have a 4 yr old who also is having random angry thoughts brought on by the fact that his mommy won't let him eat a yummy snack when he didn't eat his lunch... sigh... the terrible life of a 4 yr old.

It's hard to believe that we've been home so many weeks already... and yet it feels like we're just settling right back into life in Alaska... we have been blessed to find an amazing home church... the kids LOVE going and just can't wait to go back each week! They are making some great friends and enjoying some of the many activities Alaska has to offer.
Tonia has started horseback riding lessons in preparation to join up with a 4H group here. Her first week the poor teacher was mortified when her horses freaked out when something hit the barn and spooked them into a canter across the indoor arena... Tonia managed to keep her seat until the horse stopped, then she went down... but it didn't phase her a bit. The teacher says she has a natural grace about her which will serve her well... :) (K... done bragging now).
Joziah is joining boy scouts, which he is super excited about... the other boys are still deciding on their activities... I think Brian is gonna do some sort of shooting club, but we'll see.
I would post pictures of our latest adventures, but sadly we left our camera sitting on a shelf in Manila... thankfully the person whose house we left it at will be coming to the US this summer, so can bring it then... but until then... :( No pictures!
Job hunting has begun in earnest this week... so pray that the right job comes along... :) Thanks and God bless!

ALASKA

We arrived safe and sound in Alaska! We were greeted by sub zero temps and then within a couple days... SNOW! BRRR!!! Thankfully we were met at the airport w/ winter jackets and warmed up vehicles!
We have 'recooped' a bit as far as jet lag, though we got the winter 'colds' to go with our arrival... blah... but we are loving the big house to run and play in, the kids are loving playing outside in the snow (mom skips out on that part)... our tummies took a bit to adjust to the American diet, but we are slowly adjusting... tonights dinner... salmon, potatoes and corn!! YUM!! Our friends were so kind to stock our freezer, fridge and pantry before we came home. We have enough meat to last a month or more!! Ah... PROTEIN!
We have been busy setting up all the necessary accounts, and getting all the fun 'paperwork' and business stuff done that we've been putting off for waaay too long!
Joe interviewed for a job the day after arriving home, we are praying that he gets it as the schedule would be sweet for everyone... but like all security/cop jobs... the hiring process takes a looonngg time since they have to make sure you're as clean as a whistle...
Anyway... I met w/ a midwife here in our city and was able to listen to the little peanut growing and bouncing around inside... I hadn't been able to hear the heartbeat on my doppler cause it went caput... Anyway, it's always nice to hear the little gallop of the heartbeat of the miracle taking place inside of you..... I forgot to how much I MISSED American midwifery... I LOVE the personal time/care midwives give you...
There of course is always much, much more... and I wanted to finally post pictures, but unfortunately we seemed to have left our camera at our friends in Manila! Grrr... There have been many emotional ups and downs to moving back to the US, lots of soul searching and all that fun stuff... but lots of just being blessed by those around us... the kids came out of sunday school on Sunday SO EXCITED about their lessons, about the activities, etc... they couldn't stop talking about it and begged us to go back to that church so they could go again. It may seem trivial... but when you've been attending home church, or village church for so long... it was so refreshing.
Well, time to see what Joe is whipping up in the kitchen (he's an amazing cook!) :P
Thank you again for all your prayers and support.

Phew

We made it to Davao in one piece (though I'm not sure I can say our emotions were in one piece!) We literally hit here and all the exhaustion and emotional turmoil of the past month just bowled us over! I was SO sick... getting up at night to throw up even! So my lovely Nurse Practioner friend told me to just bite the bullet and go for some anti nausea meds (ok, she said it much nice than that!) So she found me some and I took it... dang! Good stuff... and I was knocked out for a day and a half! Seriously I barely woke to eat, pee and then crawl back in bed and sleep some more!
After some needed sleep, we got to work on our last bit of boxes... sorting out shipping and what was actually flying on the plane with us. We contacted the shipping company, they came, they measured, they were getting us a quote.... we waited... not too worried since our friends had just shipped with them so we figured it would be similarly priced... Finally we hear from them yesterday... um... sir... we don't actually have a port to ship to in Alaska... Wow.... maybe they could have told us this a week ago! Sigh... so we are now on Friday evening and not too much closer to finding ourselves a shipping company that can send our stuff... oh... and we leave Tuesday morning! Yikes! (Prayers are appreciated on this subject!)
On a better note, we've had such a blessed time here... being encouraged, uplifted and refreshed by our fellow missionaries. We are staying w/ some awesome people who have really shown us what support and building up of those around you can do for a mission organization! Kudos to Global Impact!! (This is the missions group of our friends Glen n Sarah Biggs who visited several times in Kihan).
We've also had the chance to just catch up with some friends, say more and more goodbyes... (so so hard!) And try to prepare ourselves for the changes taking place in just a few short days... not just the weather, but the emotional and spiritual challenges awaiting us in Alaska. Please do continue to pray for us all as we make this transition w/ our crew.
Thank you all for your love and support....
Blessings...
Jenn

Serenaded!

Well who says that serenading is just for guys expressing their love to their girls? This morning at 4:45 we woke to the sound of voices... at first I thought our neighbor had just stuck the radio on... but soon I realized I recognized a couple of the voices.... they were singing how they love us and will miss us... aaahhh... we came downstairs in our jammies (they were also in their jammies, so no worries!)... they prayed, served mountain coffee and sticky rice... spoke blessings over us, then prayed and sang some more... we woke the kids around 5:30 and they came down (Tyler had 3 cups of coffee before we realized it... YIKES!)
We were informed that the usual tradition is to serenade someone at 3 am... but they thought maybe we would like more sleep! Thanks! :) It truly was a sweet gesture and we will miss everyone tremendously...
Today is the last of the pack up and tomorrow we load the truck and go.... hard to believe...

goodbyes stink!

Tonight we had an improptu 'party'.... we had planned on a birthday celebration dinner for our friend/helper Jobert (a local village boy)... but then neighbors showed up w/ special rice n Adobo... then all the health care workers showed up to chat and say there goodbyes (and get in one more plea for us to stay)... through tears and prayers later, they left and we were left with that empty feeling one gets right before you leave your home and life you know.... sometimes I wish God would make us the type of people to settle in one place and stay there 20 years! And maybe someday that day will come.... but I know that each place He's brought us on our journey... He's had an amazing purpose and plan through it all.... I will never doubt God's plan of bringing us here to Kihan... I will never doubt His plan continues on even now... I am thankful to be in a place in my relationship with Him that I KNOW that I know that His will is PERFECT in EVERY way! .... "even when I cannot see... I still believe!"

Even when life is crazy and full of all this... craziness... just wanted to tell my friends out there who are taking the NARM... thinking and PRAYING like crazy for you girls! You rock... you'll do awesome!

One more step completed

This morning was our big 'garage' sale... more like a porch sale... We had people all week long trying to be the ones who got the preview of the sale... (whcih of course we let our helpers dig through first)... but the others we made wait until today.... so there were people lining our gates quite early in the morning... but first things first... we ate breakfast and gathered a few more of this n that... (and heard pleas from a few kids on please please please don't sell this or that)... Selling things is definitely hardest on kids! The older kids were each in charge of their bikes to sell (they were basicaly doing a silent bid system)... we had had probably 30 people want the 8 bikes we had... so it was madness! Joe finally had to help them out about half way into the morning... people were shoving money in the poor kids' faces trying to convince them to sell it to THEM! lol... Tonia, Levi n I manned the money box while my helpers n Earl helped answer pricing questions from the throngs of people! All in all in went well... though exhausting of course! But my house is emptier than it was... which gives me more room to pack! I'm still not sure how it's all going to get done... but at least whatever I'm not sure about I can just throw in a box and take to Davao..... then sort when I'm there!

As the reality of the transition is upon us... I find myself having random moments of... panic maybe? Realizing that some of my younger children can't even remember much of anything about American life... this morning was a funny little example... as I'm sorting through Meggie's clothes for the garage sale and she doesn't want a certain pink shirt... Tyler pipes in that he could have it (or even Levi)... now here one would think nothing of a boy wearing a bright pink shirt... some of my kids long pj pants we've sold in past garage sales end up on adults as capris! Clothes are just not paid attention to... the kids can wear stained, holy, too small or too big and nobody even notices! If memory serves me well... this isn't quite so in America!
Some things though I am looking forward to... all this packing has brought out cockroaches in the hundreds (or so it seems!).... Every morning there are at least 4 or so in my bathroom.... I'm looking forward to the day when my multiple trips to the bathroom at night doesn't involve being on the look out for cockroaches, huge spiders and even bats in my toilet! It's not so easy to go back to sleep after a cockroach races over your foot! (or worse is when a nasty bug flies in your ear and wakes you from a dead sleep!)... I'll be glad when I don't automatically think that a black belt or piece of tape on the floor is a snake... or my hair falling down on my arm is ants crawling on me! Sigh... but even with all those things 'better'... I will miss our little village here in the Philippines... miss what we are doing and the ability to help people in this way. Such are the conflicts in our hearts.

death to supermom

All of us women know that try as we might... we just can't be supermom... there are times we might even feel like we are getting there... but then life throws us 'something' to realize that we are completely human and in need of God's grace every moment of every day. It's been that kind of month! We have just over a week until we move to Davao, then another couple before we head stateside. In that amount of time we need to finish sorting what things we're keeping and what we're selling, along with what we're taking to Davao to get rid of and taking to Davao to ship back (mostly school stuff). Of course there is the normal challenges of moving with children (WHAT?... Why do we have to sell THAT!) Then we are continuing to homeschool whilst we pack the house around the kids (distracting...) Then to top it all off I am in full swing of morning sickness/1st trimester exhaustion! This is the 8th time I have experienced the full first trimester of pregnancy... and in each one I have had varying degrees of morning sickness... ranging from non stop vomiting that required injections to stop it... or only a mild form of constant nausea... Sadly this pregnancy seems to be following extreme nausea and vomiting side... every day it gets worse and I feel more and more exhausted... As much as I 'want' to do everything and 'be' everything to everybody... it's just not gonna happen...
To top it off.. I have this normal... 'faith' in the goodness of people... especially those that are our Christian brothers and sisters... but man... lately that faith is definitely being tried... and I know that cyncicism could easily creep in...
So it's times like this that I like to think of just hiding ourselves in Christ... letting him do battle because we are too weak to battle for ourselves...
Thank you for those who are praying... we treasure it!
Blessings

Catch up

Just because we stopped blogging for the decision making time... doesn't mean that life stopped here in Kihan... We had more 'firsts' this month...
We had a young boy brought to the clinic who was kicked by a horse.. in his head. It looked like it wasn't too huge of a cut, until we started cleaning it out! An hour and a half later we finally got the thing clean (and were able to easily visualize the skull!) Apparently horses hooves are quite dirty! When he kicked the boy on the forehead it pulled the skin away from the skull and then deposited a LOT of dirty nastiness under the skin. We got him sutured up and on antibiotics, watched him overnight and then he was fine and dandy (well, besides his eyes being swollen up almost shut).
We had another patient stay almost a week... an 80 plus yr old who had fallen down a hill more than 2 weeks before and had been unable to move around or deficate since! On day 4 we finally got our reward (I won't elaborate)...
Then this week was the local barangay fiesta... sounds fun right?.... nope... basically a ginormous drinking and partying festival... and the 10 speakers on the basketball court blared straight into our house... disco music lasted till 2am the first night, then 5 am... then on the last night it just didn't stop till after 8am!!! It vibrated the entire house.... I wish I had taken the family on vacation, but we thought we might end up with patients. We did have lots of patients... one girl had run into barbed wire that a local lady who was ticked off had strung across the road... this poor girl split her lip completely in half and then it tore down the edge of it towards the corner. The suturing job looked awesome at the end and I think it will heal with only the smallest of a scar.
Through all this... the morning sickness and extreme tiredness had taken over my body... I feel as though I can barely function! Somehow in the past 5 years its been since i had my last... I've forgotten!!! Or maybe I had it in my mind that somehow since I was a midwife now I would have all the answers and not suffer as much.... yeah... not so... :( Praying this is just a first trimester issue and not a whole 9 months thing. Praying I also get some major energy boost in the next week and a half since I need to sort and pack all our stuff before then! Thankfully all our furniture sold, so I don't have to haul that back to Davao! PTL!
I'm sure there is lots more, but pregnancy fog brain has also taken over...

update

I have opened my blogger many times in an effort to write this blog, but have been unable to find the words, so I have always closed it for another day. But not one to shy away from the truth, here it is...
We made probably the hardest decision of our marriage over the last several weeks. Due to some 'extenuating' circumstances, we are moving our family back to Alaska. We leave the Philippines for the final time on March 3rd and arrive in AK the same day... We would covet your prayers as we transition back to another culture (one several of our kids have barely lived in)... as we continue to seek God's guidance for our lives and our family.
Even though the reason for parting wasn't one I would wish to repeat, we are looking forward to a time of rest and renewal. God so mercifully didn't allow our house to sell, and we still have our shuttle bus there, so at least we aren't starting completely over! Some very nice ladies from a couple churches have gathered household items we can use to start off with as well!
God is STILL in control, that much we know. And one thing we've learned through the years is that even when things don't seem to make any sense or have any reasoning... God WILL bring us through to the other side and he does cause ALL things to work together for good...
Thank you to all who were there by our side, supporting us as we prayed, cried and worked through this decision making process... we love each and every one of you!

~“Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out” ~ Vaclav Havel
This quote hit me hard today.... I just thought I would share. (Thanks to Vicki who posted it on FB)...
Life at this moment for us is a huge tangled web... we are pausing to listen to Christs voice in the midst of all of it and hear what He is saying to us... please join us in prayer as we walk this journey... thank you to all of you who have loved on us and supported us during this time...
Jenn n Joe

Davao!

Well we made a succesful trip to Malita to visit our helpers family... and while there the suggestion was made that we just continue our trip and head to Davao to fix the jeep... this seemed like a wise idea since we had just that morning had to weld the engine in a couple places and drop the 4 wheel drive shafty thingy (don't ask for technical stuff!) But it was in serious need of our mechanic... and since we were only 70 kilometers from Davao... we headed this direction with just our one change of clothes. (we had only planned on being gone one day)... so here we are... waiting for the jeep to get done... chillin at our friends house and loving the visiting with old friends!
We laughed as we came into the city and were feeling refreshed... where as before we LEFT the city to feel refreshed! Funny what you miss! When you're in the city you want some peace and quiet! When you're in the bukid... you want some company!
Anyway... we are enjoying our time here and I may even pick up a shift tomorrow... I miss catching babies! :P

New Year.. New Babies

Well it's looking like 2010 will be a year of fruitfullness! Jan 1, 2010 and so far we've already had chicks hatch, guinea pig give birth and the hamster have her babies (5!)... We're believing in faith that our rabbits will soon start to produce like... rabbits... :P It was a great New Year as we celebrated with our friends who came from Davao (the same ones who brought the work team of guys the last time)... and though 3 of the 4 adults decided sleep was more impressive than ringing in the New Year... we still had a grand time... and there was no sleeping through a Filipino celebration of the New Year... fireworks (which only go bang.. no visual display), horns, pots/pans, and a new one for us... a chainsaw! I woke at 11:59 and tried for the next hour to drown out the noise (which isn't possible at all!)
The friends have had a blast playing with their friends and generally being hyped up constantly on chocolate and sugar! We figure it's gonna be us or the ants that eat it... so why not us!!
Tomorrow we are going to squish all up in the jeep and head to our helpers family's house for a celebration there and hopefully a day on the beach... we're praying the car repairs don't take super long (Joe estimates 15 minutes... I planned for an hour!)... But whatever comes our way... we're ready for the adventure! (those may be famous last words....) Be blessed and have and AMAZING new year living God's adventure!